indifference.

Hi guys, it’s been a minute.

I would say that I have a valid excuse but truth be told, I don’t. If anything, I’ve had poor time management recently. To give you a better grasp of where I’ve been: I travel most weekends working as an emcee for a dance competition, sleep and reset my life on Mondays, film for work on Tuesdays, Wednesdays tackle homework and take it easy, Thursday do anything I forgot to tackle and pack for the airport, and then Friday morning I’m up at 4 am ready to drive back to the beloved airport.

When reading that from afar that seems like a lot, but it’s nothing I haven't handled before. I’ve handled far crazier schedules, and honestly, I love the hustle and bustle. It makes me feel young. ( yes I’m aware that I’m not old but you get what I mean )

So here’s my apology for not being on top of things. I have a lot of things running around in my mind, that are just waiting to be put down on paper ( well on my computer screen though I wish paper catalogs were still a popular thing) so I promise I’ll have things posted.

For this week's thoughts:

Before going on my condensed rant, my quote of the week is

“It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference.”

Of course, those words are written by the lovely Taylor Swift, but let’s be clear here. Her writing skills are impeccable. Every song is a masterpiece in my eyes but I digress….. Let’s dissect why this quote resonates a little bit more than normal with me. I would never dare to say I am wise and thus all-knowing, but something I’ve learned is that if that person or thing no longer serves a positive purpose in your life, go ahead and place it in your trash. Throw it away. Get rid of it. Completely. That means even though you sent that file to your trash can, you need to delete it permanently for forever. It sounds a bit extreme or dramatic, but that’s okay. You aren't placed on Earth to spend time apologizing for how you choose to protect your peace.

I have had people in my life that never viewed me as an actual person, but as a thing or body to pass the time, or to help them feel better about themselves by degrading me to others…… there are so many more examples but you get the gist. I’m sure as you’re reading this you can think of people who have used you, rather than seeing you for who you are. Remember that you only get one life and you deserve to live every waking moment feeling loved and with the opportunity to feel as if you’re on top of the world. I have also had things in my life that took away my smile or made me second guess my worth, and again I say to leave that thing in the past.

I am aware that I just made this statement, but it is something that I live by…..

YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE TO LIVE.

Looping back around to my quote from earlier, I feel that it is important to learn how to look at those things, events, people, or places with indifference. How do you do that? Well at least for me, you have to understand that everything and everyone deserves grace. Mistakes are made for us to learn, but if you ever feel like your set boundaries have been crossed one too many times, it is okay to move on.

Here’s a topic that I know everyone can easily resonate with...relationships. You may have had a guy or girl that has lied, used, or manipulated you ( the list can go on), and it’s natural for you to revolt at the thought of them, however, it is possible to move to a place where you simply feel indifferent. You have to remember that you too have made poor choices and decisions, so they deserve that grace.

I keep using the word indifferent and by that, I mean that you simply don’t have much interest in that person, situation, or thing. You are unbothered. You can look at it in the face and say “hi” and move on.

I think it’s important to protect your heart and your passions all while still being respectful to the thing that wronged you. Again, you only have one life to live…. Don’t live it full of malice or hate when that topic is brought up in conversation. A part of learning maturity is tackling being indifferent to things that no longer benefit you. You just look at it with appreciation for how it brought you growth even though the pains seemed unbearable. One day you will wake up and realize that the thing that felt so big is much smaller. It is indifferent.