Impulse

Once a second has passed by, you can’t get it back…… ever. Often we hear our parents or grandparents speak in past tense… “back in our day” or “when I was younger” …… They speak of something they wish they could get back. Everyone chases youth and what youth brings such as beauty, freedom, health, fitness, mobility, and so on. Although I may be in my younger twenties, I too often reflect on times when I was 8 or 13. The thing is, while those times were great, I need to focus more on what is in front of me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to not look back and not reminisce, but each second that is spent reflecting is another wasted. Now I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to reflect on, it can be crucial when making present or future important decisions, but what I am saying is that we often dwell on our past too often.

Focus on what’s in front of you and live in the present.

My New Year’s resolution and resolution until my time here is up is to: live in the present; go after exactly what I want; to genuinely be happy. One day when my head is filled with wiry gray hairs and my face with wrinkles and lines telling stories to my grandchildren or to the random lady in a diner..... reflecting on my life…. I don’t want to reflect back on a life full of regret and what-ifs.

Recently I’ve had a lot of time to focus on just myself. Sometimes it feels selfish and at other times I know it’s exactly what I need. I’m also a person who likes to create lists, but I try to stray away from living that way. I’m not saying that I plan everything out like some tedious itinerary that your wedding planner gives you, but I do create a to-do list that needs to be completed each day. I want to stray away from something so structured and embrace living in the moment. The one and only list that I want to focus on, is my bucket list.

Today is January 15th and I can proudly say that I’ve already checked off more things on my bucket list in these past two weeks than I did in the last year of 2022. Honestly, I probably checked off one thing last year. That’s awful.

You only get one life to live and you only are given a certain amount of time before the clock stops ticking. Why wait around and do it another time when you think it would be convenient?

Just pull the damn trigger and do it.

We are often taught to think before we speak and do, but I encourage you to do the exact opposite. Do what sets your soul on fire. Buy the plane ticket. Go to that concert. Love unconditionally. Give everything your all. Fall on your ass. Fall on your ass, AGAIN. Say you’re sorry. Tell someone you’re proud of them. Talk to God even when you don’t feel like it. Wake up and watch the sunrise. Chase the sunset. Ask questions. Dance, everywhere. Watch the stars. Create your own recipes. Cry. Laugh uncontrollably. Whatever it is, just do it and live in that very moment.

We are composed of billions of atoms. I often think the way we are composed is similar to the galaxy. We are composed of thousands upon thousands of stars, and if we take the time to look within, you can notice each constellation. You’ll notice there is a story for each constellation and also see ones that are waiting to be written…… Your stories don’t write themselves, you do. Each time that you decide to shoot for the stars, another story is written. Write as many as you can.

So you may be wondering why I decided to title this piece, Impulse, and here is why.

Impulse is the sudden strong and unreflective urge or desire to act. This very writing was an impulse thought, and while I could have sat down to edit and make sure everything flows...... it defeats the purpose. Impulse isn't always a painted, seamless thing but in the chaos there is beauty. So...... act on what you have dreamed about for so long. Tomorrow is never promised, let alone the next breath you take. Make your younger self proud and in awe of everything that you do. Embrace the "ugly." Embrace having no plan. Embrace the fact that you woke up today. Embrace the opportunity to live life carefree. Live a little. It's good for the soul.